In a culture of deeds and doers, it seems a bit – or even extremely – passive to simply allow. Allow what? Allow the hungry to starve? Allow an abusive relationship to continue? Allow my house to get messy and taxes to go unfiled? Our fear-based egos start to drum up all kinds of scenarios to demonstrate the harm in allowing.
So let’s go there…. Let’s sit with this fear of allowing before we proceed.
Our first instinct is to equate allowing with not doing, right? And “not doing” is not a fruitful option in many areas of our lives; we get bad grades when we don’t do our homework, get fired when we don’t do our jobs, or lose relationships when we don’t engage in them. Yet, deeper than our discomfort with living in an embarrassingly messy home, or our fear of having the IRS levy our bank accounts, there is a core fear in allowing.
Sadly, many of us have experienced the pain and helplessness of being a victim. As children, we were powerless over the situations and adults in our lives, and most of us had crucial experiences that hurt us in some way. In order to protect ourselves and assert our power we learned to do – and sometimes overdo – in order to navigate our way from victimhood to feeling more in control. It is clear that many of our personal actions have led us to where we are now. We see the correlation between action and consequence.
Yet, a common pattern that develops as we grow spiritually is many of our willful efforts and attempts to maintain control become increasingly less effective. It is in this way our higher soul is inviting us to allow.
For many, being the “good girl” or doing the “right thing” leads to a life of monotony, limitation and unfulfilled potential. Again, the dualistic mind assumes the implication here is to be “bad” or do the “wrong thing,” but this is a matter of perspective. We have let society, our parents, and others we hold as authority figures define the boundaries of what we should be doing with our lives, and how to do them.
So, now let’s practice a bit of conscious allowing.
Take a moment to relax, breathe deeply, focus on your heart, and feel into the statement: I have let society, my parents, and others define what I should be doing with my life, and how to do them.
What comes up for you? If inspired, write down your response. Or simply allow this experience to unfold a little longer before moving on. You may notice:
Conscious allowing is as simple as creating the space in the present moment to experience what is.
Even though our thoughts may go wild, confusion or feelings begin to arise, or that “I must try harder” impulse stirs up some anxiety, if we stay present, using the support of our breath and the openness of our heart, we can allow all of it… thoughts, feelings, confusion, agitation, surrender. Whatever is.
Allowing offers an alignment with our essence, an expansion of trust, and carries a sublime awareness of Universal Perfection.
In life and along our spiritual path, we encounter things that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable, and allowing can be one such thing. And though we may intellectually comprehend the notion of allowing, our souls will prompt us to experience it in deeper ways. Oftentimes, this comes in the form of crisis.
Our normal reaction to crisis is, “What can I do?” With clear reasoning and responsible actions, we can positively impact the situation, even if we can’t completely resolve it. Clearly, doing can be extremely beneficial, but when we believe we will gain 100% control over an issue (and the people involved) with action alone we have fallen into a trap of the ego.
In addition to our reliance on doing, those of us who have spiritually embraced the “Law of Attraction” often find ourselves conflicted when life doesn’t go our way. Rather than recognizing this as a chance to allow, we resort to self-blame. I must not have visualized clearly. My negative thoughts are blocking me. I’m not enlightened enough. As these beliefs imply that even more action is required of us, our angst intensifies!
Part of releasing our ego-driven practices is shifting the ego’s understanding of the Law of Attraction. In reality, attraction entails allowing.
Admittedly, the Law of Attraction is a fun and enticing tool to help us understand our true power. Novice spiritual seekers are like children in a candy shop who have yet to understand that just because one can “create reality” doesn’t mean one’s goal is in alignment with the Higher Self. In fact, satisfying the ego’s desires is rarely the path chosen by advanced souls. Generally speaking, our ability to manifest will work for a while, encouraging us to trust our inherent gifts and dig deeper into our soul. Yet, as we evolve, merging with our collective ascension, creating from the ego becomes ineffectual. Thus, when our manifesting skills diminish, we are ready to master allowing.
Although we can choose to learn the art of allowing any time, life challenges offer down-to-earth opportunities to practice it.
With our fixation on actions and control, plus our right versus wrong primal thinking, allowing can feel counter-everything that’s been tried and true. Yet, by taking baby steps to practice this cathartic skill we open ourselves to the freedom and joy our souls envision.
Allowing may not be easy, but it is always accessible and begins with choice.
If you are ready to experiment, or your soul is coercing you with interesting circumstances, or if you tend to over-give, here are some ways you can open to conscious allowing:
At a time when our world seems to be spinning faster, and doing more is constantly expected of us, slowing down and learning to allow are essential to our peace of mind and lightness of soul. As well, learning to allow is a fundamental step toward personal empowerment. As we evolve – shifting from a mindset focused on external control to one rooted in inner empowerment – our conscious practice of allowing will help us cultivate deep-seated contentment and joy, which positively affects the vibration of our collective reality.
Sometimes we spend all of our time and energy trying to "manifest" something that we really want only to discover all those "laws of attraction" repelling our very desires! What is one to do when the tools of manifestation are broken? If we do our part to follow spiritual laws, then why doesn't Spirit abide by them as well?
From the simplistic human experience, we can often fall into the realm of victimhood. "Life is so unfair! Things never go my way!" The law of attraction can be like "Big Brother" watching and listening to every energetic thing we feel, think and say, then abundantly showering us with our greatest fears.
Yet, as we mature and recognize our power as human-spiritual beings, we can begin to realize some of our affects on our reality. As we become more conscious of what we feel, think and say, we can make more conscious choices in our lives and thus "attract" more of the things we desire. The ability to create our reality builds our confidence and life becomes a bit more joyful and easy.
This, unfortunately, is just a phase in the initiation process as we fully awaken to our grandness! In other words, once we have "mastered" this level of manifesting, we will be ready for losing our powers once again. Many of us are now experiencing this newest challenge on our journey.
We likely have spent countless hours visualizing, affirming, and even "knowing" that what we want (money, a perfect relationship, a joyful career) is ours NOW only to manifest an abundance of frustration, disappointment and a lack of faith. As our finger tries desperately to touch the object of our desire, it slides away like mercury (whom, by the way, is a messenger!).
What has happened in this evolutionary phase is that we have allowed our ego to call the shots. We have confused manifesting from the ego's perspective with manifesting from our soul's perspective. At this juncture, it is time to learn the art of allowing.
When we are continuously denied that which we think we want - especially once we have "mastered manifesting" - feelings of failure and unworthiness arise. This is good, since our newest "lesson" is to truly embrace and know our unconditional worthiness. It also gives us a chance to renew our faith in life, in Spirit and in ourselves.
When we repeatedly get denied that which we think we want, this oftentimes leads to a reevalution of that which is vitally important in our lives. We begin to learn the virtue of surrender, willingly or not, and acceptance becomes a stepping stone.
Our ego has a chance to soften and our soul's wisdom will remind us that we are co-creators, not the One "in charge." In fact, this grasping energy of controlling everything is part of what we are ready to release.
Allowing can be a challenge, indeed, but so was the notion of manifesting at one point on our human-spiritual journey. If you think about it carefully, however, it is actually quite simple because all you need to do is allow and let your soul and the Universe work together to bring you what is buried deep in your heart - your true self - where joy and ease reside.
We move in and out of consciousness. We re-member who we are, then promptly forget. No big deal. Yet, when we remember, we find and feel a sense of purpose and oneness as well as an order to the chaos. This feels good to our bodies and souls.
“How did this happen?” we wonder. Then, with intention and desire we begin to seek this experience again and again. Perhaps we find this through meditation, in our connections with nature, or interacting with children. Maybe we read books that “make sense” to our spiritual selves, or we have someone see something “divine” in us and we want to tap into that something in clear and direct ways.
Our awakening is personal, yet cosmic. We are individuals making individual choices about our lives on all kinds of levels/planes/realms. Sometimes we are acutely aware of our choices and how they affect us. Other times we simply react to life and fall into old patterns.
The interesting piece is this cosmic, or collective, consciousness. When we re-member who we truly are – a divine expression of “God” (or however else it feels to you) – we understand we are part of something bigger and it includes everyone and everything. We realize that we are interconnected at such profound levels that no words can actually capture this truth.
Awakening can be quite exciting and, conversely, quite frightening. There is nothing “wrong” with you if you feel fear during your expansion. Do you remember being born? Although parents try to be more aware of the affects of childbirth these days – perhaps they create a quiet, sacred space with low lighting and soft music, etc. – it can still be a frightening experience. New, unfamiliar experiences can make us feel insecure.
Right now, we are experiencing such a rapid shift in consciousness that we are constantly having new, unfamiliar experiences. Unfortunately, these experiences are not being broadcasted on the news or explained by your doctor or discussed at work during your coffee break. Or are they?
As an individual, you are probably going through a lot of major changes in your life. And we can all see that the greater collective is experiencing some pretty big shifts as well. These experiences – major financial upsets, home foreclosures, instabilities, etc. – are happening to the masses and are all part of our collective awakening! Thus, you are awakening individually as well as with the collective and each of these areas of awakening will affect you.
For those who are less conscious (aware), they may be thinking, “Geez, the market sucks right now, but it’s going to turn around.” Or even, “Oh, my God, I’m going to lose my house! Where will I live? What will I do? Oh, no!” Even those who are more conscious (aware) can experience similar thoughts, including the primal fears that can arise from such thoughts.
The awareness that you are both a human and a spiritual being can help alleviate the self-judgment for your fears and fear-based thoughts; your spiritual self can find compassion for your human self. Plus, this spiritual side can keep the light of hope lit – allowing your own light within to keep shining. It helps you remember that all is truly well and enables you to drop into trust and find a sense of peace.
During these times of “crashing and fading” our egos (fearful states) are dying and we are giving birth to our greater, more heart-centered selves. Although both death and birth are part of the natural cycle of life, they can be painful, frightening experiences for the human being and ego.
So, what do you do for others who are experiencing these aspects of life? How would you comfort a friend who is losing a parent to cancer? What do you do for a woman in the midst of labor? Contemplate the offerings you would bring and consider blessing yourself with the same loving care. Although this kind of support cannot always stop the emotional or physical pain, it can bring great comfort. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, seek comfort from a friend or loved one (or offer it to yourself), know these transitions are intensely happening in our lives right now, and trust they will pass.
No matter what the outward situation looks like, or how you feel, think or react to it all, know that you are worthy and lovable – always. Whenever possible, allow yourself to feel this Love, breathe into this Love, and let it awaken your Heart!